Look At Pixie's Hair!

Well, I made it out of Bakersfield alive. Long story short, I have more cousins than I can count, one major incident is never ever enough, and despite how it seems now- life does go on.

First off, Aunt Belle died- a few days later Aunt Anne fell and broke her wrist in three places, then Jeffery's dog had a bizarre and traumatizing death. The dog's name is escaping me.... My mom, brother (we decided it was time he understood why we're so exhausted when we come home), and I showed up at Uncle Joe's house. We walked into the house and found Aunt Mary Poncetta (versus Mary Bunn) at the kitchen table.

"Well as if one death wasn't enough, Jeff's dog just died and we've been dealing with that...." We discovered my godmother Tina on the phone making preparations dabbing tears from her eyes. When she got off the phone she told us how the dog was fine and dandy and then all of a sudden started freezing up and falling over, unable to move. She and Nernie (her sister) took him to LA to the vet but to no avail, he was put to sleep and they decided to cremate him.

Then Nernie's cellphone rang and Tina answered,
"Hello?...Who is this?? Excuse me? Who is this? I don't want to start getting mean...Nern take the phone!" She handed it off to Nernie, "He asked if we're the ones who poisoned the dog, I don't even know this guy! Not very funny.... he's probably never had a pet... It's very traumatizing."


Dog aside, there was still a funeral to go to, and the shenanigans weren't over.

As we left Sacred Heart after the service I watched as my cousin Burt knelt down at the steps of the church and picked something up, a cigar. He caught me looking at him, "Well OBVIOUSLY I wouldn't take it in." As if I was being ridiculous by looking at him funny. Later on at the graveyard I observed a very funny exchange:
Burt stood over a tombstone away from the crowd, struck a match and began to puff at his cigar. An elderly woman, tilted her head at him quizzically, Burt looked at her and then down at the name on the stone then back at her, "It's not like he's going to be bothered by second hand smoke. He hasn't taken a gulp of air in oh.... ten years, I doubt he'll start now." Flustered she shook her head and walked away.

For whatever reason this last interaction with Burt made me realize that even though Aunt Belle's gone, we're still here, and we are what we are, despite the circumstances.

"GOD DAMN!! Kerra! (nobody can pronounce my name...) Look, over there, look at Pixie's hair." I looked
"What the hell is that hair-do? She looks like a damn sumo wrestler, what was she thinking, jeez." Sure enough Pixie looked like a sumo wrestler with a small bizarre bun on her head and huge poofy bangs that stood up from her head instead of rest on her forehead. Burt excitedly went on to tell everybody else about Pixie's hair.

It's really strange how something like that causes you to make other connections, I'm not sure what it was about his mannerisms during this episode, but I was vividly reminded of both Aunt Belle and Aunt Mary and how much they loved to talk about people.

Funny how some things carry on through generations...

Families and Funerals

I can't remember what I said in the last blog and don't really care....

In a nutshell I gave up going to PC to be with my familia in Bakersfield and I don't regret it for a second. As Nernie continually said today, "We're where we're meant to be." For me that was not in Mexico, but by my mom's side when we found out that Aunt Belle died this morning.

Let me just say I have never been more glad to hear that somebody had passed away. No I'm not being mean, if you had seen how she was yesterday you would agree with me. We walked into her hospital room yesterday to a jarring sight; she lay on her bed with her mouth open unable to speak. She looked like a bad dream, and based on what we've been told by doctor's she was in immense amounts of pain, so it's good that she's back home with God. I'm all scrambled right now and can't think about anything except that two day trip.

Oh families and funerals.... Funny similarity between the two, both of them are inescapable. Nobody can out run death...and you're stuck with the family you're born with.

Just Chill Out Man

Sing Me to Heaven, music by Daniel Gawthrop, words by Jane Griner

"In my heart's sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poets' gloss
Words alone are vain and vacant, and my heart is mute
In response to aching silence, memory summons half-heard voices
And my soul finds primal eloquence, and wraps me in song
If you would comfort me, sing me a lullaby
If you would win my heart, sing me a love song
If you would mourn me and bring me to God, sing me a requiem, sing me to Heaven
Touch in me all love and passion, pain and pleasure
Touch in me grief and comfort, love and passion, pain and pleasure
Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem
Love me, comfort me, bring me to God
Sing me a love song, sing me to Heaven"

I just need to chill out and realize that at the nitty gritty I have a Father who has got it all under control; Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

It's been out of my hands since the day it was born so I might as well embrace it and know that no matter what everything will end up just the way its supposed to.

Peace yo.

I'm F.I.N.E.

And by fine I really mean

Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic
Excitable (in a bad way)


I was filling out envelopes and address for support letters for a trip when I realized that I didn't have some addresses. I called my mom and started going down the list of names that I still needed and came to Aunt Belle (my great aunt, my mom's aunt).

"About that... I just found out she's in the hospital, I'm trying to figure out when to visit her." I just kinda sat there like a lump of noodles. Apparently Aunt Belle fell down in her house about a month ago, and has been in the hospital ever since. All of those relatives live in Bakersfield with in five miles of each other, so when something happens they usually don't bother telling any of those who live out of town, so we don't find out until way later.

My mom proceeded to tell me the game plan, we're either heading up there this Wednesday, or the Wednesday of Spring Break. Now, I'm in a quasi-emotional state and I'm trying to figure out why. For a second I thought it was being bummed about missing P.C. week, but I realized it wasn't that, I can go to Mexico any time... I'm not one to cry about people dying, it happens, but for some reason I just don't feel like functioning at school anymore. I want to go home and be with my mom and Sean. I've put everything on hold except for going to class and working on my case study (and venting obviously).

Death is just such a funky thing. It happens to everybody, but as far as I can tell people don't really think about it all that much. Maybe they do, but they just don't talk about it I can never be sure, but I know for myself I never think "Oh she's old, she's gonna die soon, sweet man." There's this odd assumption that they're just always going to be around, regardless of age or physical health. I'm not sure if this is some sort of comment on my maturity level, maybe I need to grow up more, or if it's a comment on the fact that I just don't deal with people dying all that much. Death doesn't seem like much of a reality until you start dealing with it face to face.

Now I'm sure it's pretty morbid to just jump from a stay at a hospital to Aunt Belle's ultimate demise but I can't help it. I'm also sure that I'm coming off as very callous for finding the humor in the situation, oh well...


oops Christina's here Apa Kabbar

Ribbens...Riveters??

I just met my Potter's Clay contractor, Dan Ribbens and his wife Karen....can I just say.... LOVE IT!!! LOVE THOSE PEOPLE! We've only known each other an entire dinner and I can already tell that it is going to be an amazing experience working down in Ensenada with Dan. We've been doing some team bonding (we being Shelby and Curtis the fearless leaders, Trever, Laura, Andrea , Marissa, Britta, and myself) and I feel like it will make our trip a lot more fun and way less awkward than not knowing each other before hand.


Hooray for Potter's Clay.


So pretty much I'm stoked on life and God is good.... No he's even better than that.... God is cause for more joy than when you wake up in the morning thinking it's a school day, and then you stop and realize it's Saturday morning and you don't have to be anywhere; God's better than that feeling of relief.


YEA MAN!!

Ooopsy Daisy

I accidentally joined the Westmont Track team this afternoon. Looking back (all of an hour ago) I realize the only accident in the situation was that Coach O was teaching P.E. today, everything else seemed pretty deliberate. I was at the elementary school observing "my kid" for a psychology class; luckily she had P.E. when I got there (it's a beautiful day today). Standing behind the group of stretching 3rd grades was Coach Oatis. He wore a Westmont baseball cap and fleece that read "Westmont Track and Field" unwittingly I commented to him that I was going to throw last year for the team; he looked at me and smiled, "and why didn't you?" I began to make up some lame excuse about being a Liberal Studies major and not having enough time.

"Well if we're having a serious conversation about this, we only ask for 2 hours a day..." After this brief encounter I followed "my kid" to her social studies class and thought nothing of our conversation. After school we waited outside for her mom to pick her up, Coach O was regulating the pick up line.

"So what high school did you go to?" I smiled, I always felt silly answering because I lived so close to my college.
"Santa Barbara." A little surprised he chuckled and grinned at me,
"Once a Don..."
"Always a Don." We looked at each other and I couldn't help but laugh.
"That settles it, you have no choice but to come on Monday."

So pretty much my fate has been sealed, and I'm sorta glad because obviously I wouldn't have mentioned it unless I wanted some sort of comment. Well, I got my comment, and some persuasion, so now I'm stuck like Chuck and I don't mind one bit.

Except I need socks... I don't have enough for an entire week of practice....