Pride.

Pride has always been an issue, and my mom seemed to know that about me from the get go. Any time I was in an argument with a friend at school, or in need of a ride home, or just needed to ask somebody to help me with something- she would always remind me "You know, the seven deadly sins, Pride's one of them so you better just let go of it right now."

It isn't a pride where I'm better than everyone and their mother, it is a pride in being self- reliant, a... I am woman hear me roar type of pride.

Case in point (this just happened about five minutes ago): Graham and I were getting a ride home from Warren. I live on the bottom of campus, Graham lives at the top, so obviously if anybody were to walk anywhere, it would make more sense for me to walk downhill than for Graham to walk uphill. When Warren asked where we lived we answered in turn and right away I said "I'll just walk down from Emerson." Whether or not they were aware of this, both guys had the same reaction: They looked at one another then proceeded to say at the same time "Are you sure?" and "I'll walk up from V.K."

It took all my willpower not to argue for my way, because I realize that it might have unnerved them to think of me walking around campus at dark when Graham could have easily done it.

This idea of male as protector absolutely fascinates me, my father gave me no sense of comfort or protection growing up, so I've been raised "holding my own" so to speak. This doesn't mean I don't get scared or anything- walking around Westmont is freaking creepy at night when you're alone... but I think I have an issue with my pride and sense of independence. I feel like I should offer to be subject to discomfort just as easily as a guy would, even if I don't necessarily want to, it's just the fact that I know I'm capable (for the most part) of doing what guys do, they shouldn't feel like they always need to step it up for girls.

But maybe they do... and I'm just gonna have to accept that, for the majority of the time, guys seem to prefer (correct me if I'm wrong) to be the ones offering to go the extra mile, whether it be walking alone in the dark, or lifting the heavy object.

Who knows, "Not I" said the Pig.